Bring small moments of joy and control back into your life with this one small daily practice…
We would not be alone in feeling like the world has gone mad right now. Waking each day wondering are we in a bad version of a sci-fi thriller. Our broader world is experiencing the most abnormal of times, yet our daily lives are seemingly becoming a long drawn-out string of a new repetitive norm. It’s hard to see past this reoccurring thriller, like the Netflix series that keeps on playing and we keep watching aimlessly. We regularly hear ourselves saying, ‘I just want things to go back to normal’. Somehow this current experience will change us all and poses the question; is our understanding of ‘normal’ forever changed? How can we manage through this?
So many things feel out of control, our lives feel constricted, perhaps our values are challenged, we have lost freedom, our financial security could be at risk, our health? So much ambiguity! When the inertia of the situation feels overwhelming and the loss of control is paralysing, connecting to the small things in life that bring joy and meaning to us, can bring relief, a sense of control and a refocus on the good. We call these things rituals.
Rituals originated deep within faithful and religious orders – every religion has a set of religious rituals that involve a sequence of activities or practices that capture gestures, words, actions, or objects, performed in a place of significance for a significant reason. They promoted community, faith, and connection. Sometimes they were simply conducted as a way of feeling some control over the uncontrollable.
Rituals today are not only found in religions but more broadly applied in everyday life. This is simply because they work. The benefits are well researched due to their proven effectiveness and the emotional benefits that arrive through identifying and living rituals. Rituals motivate and move us, building faith, families and community. Rituals mark transitions and important events in our lives big and small. Within a ritual we can emotionally express our values and passions, allowing us to create and sustain identity and connection sparking joy and fulfilment.
People engage in rituals with the intention of achieving a wide set of desired outcomes, from reducing their anxiety to boosting their confidence, wining an event or for grounding and stabilising. Rituals allow us to emotionally connect to our actions promoting mindfulness and productive focus of our energy. We become grateful for what we have and less concerned for the things we don’t.
Unlike habits or routines which are often mindless, rituals are mindful and deliberate. A series of actions carried out for a specific purpose. They are emotional and have deep meaning and are often a gesture or extension of our purpose and life vision. A habit can be brushing your teeth, a routine is attending a gym class each morning, a ritual is making your loved one a coffee in bed each morning.
In our current life experience of things feeling out of control, rituals have the power to ground and bring us back to the present, they keep us focused and purposeful. They increase confidence, provide us with a sense of comfort, help reduce anxiety and above all, rituals are an amazing way to increase and share your joy!
Author Elizabeth Gilbert writes; “We do spiritual ceremonies as human beings in order to create a safe resting place for our most complicated feelings of joy or trauma, so that we don't have to haul those feelings around with us forever, weighing us down.”
How to create freedom, calm and clarity through your ritual…
Now it’s time to turn a positive action in your life into a ritual. Rituals are generally social and are easier to do consistently because it becomes a commitment with a group or another and you also have built-in accountability and motivation.
Decide on a day and time, and how often you are going to commit to your routine. If you chose an individual ritual, don’t be afraid to ask a friend to keep you in check and on track with encouragement.
Think of an activity, moment or habit in your life that brings you joy and fulfilment. This doesn’t have to be a big deal, it can be as simple as a saying you repeat in the shower, coffee in bed with a loved one or a full-blown meditation and yoga session. There is no one size fits all, it’s about what serves you.
Let’s connect to this activity as a ritual:
5 Simple Steps:
Identify the action, why is this ritual worthy? It’s very helpful if you can choose an activity that is repeatable, meaningful to you, easily accessible, and satisfying and if you can connect with another, you will amplify the benefit.
Prepare your environment: if you want to do early morning yoga – get your gear out the night before, set the alarm for your walk, and make sure you have milk for coffee.
Find your productive window: Are you a morning person or a night person? What time of day is best to start your new ritual?
Try different approaches: Simply try different ways of doing something until it feels comfortable for you. There is no right answer. The key thing is to give it intent and focus it must feel good
Connect to the process: note how it makes you feel, and others feel, share those thoughts with others then….Repeat, repeat, repeat!
Aristotle was quoted as saying “we are what we repeatedly do”. We’ve experienced on our coaching journey, that connecting to a life vision and purpose through daily rituals allows for great relief and clarity in times of ambiguity or overwhelm. Daily rituals keep us on purpose, focussed on our vision and able to receive the success that comes with that. It’s a small act that packs a powerful punch in bringing about life joy, purpose, and normality amongst the chaos!
How can you introduce a ritual in your life?
Yours on purpose,
Ben & Josh (The Purpose & Flow team)