How Self Care can take you from Self Sabotage to Self Confidence

“Nope”. “I can’t”. “I’d better not”. “I’ll never”. “I suck at”.

Too often our self-talk get’s in our own way of moving forward or achieving what we want. But there are ways to break through them.

As discussed in our previous blog, these blockers as we call them are unfortunately a part of our lives, typically as a limiting belief about ourselves that we have learnt from the different parts of our lives and experiences. 

They can show up in a variety of ways, most often being the negative self-talk that convinces us that we can’t do something – essentially self-sabotaging our potential. 

When this happens we lose our self-confidence and our energy to access what we want, to let ourselves be happier, or to try something new etc.   When the self-confidence goes, we stall and get stuck in a rut.

 The intriguing thing about these self-sabotaging blockers is that they are just self-imposed imaginary obstacles. And that we have the power and capacity within ourselves to remove them. In the previous blog on blockers, we spoke about 5 steps to help you break down and reframe those blockers into new empowering beliefs for your life. 

This is an intellectual activity that requires practice, patience and emotional resilience to make it successful.  

There is a complementary practice that helps us to revitalise our self-confidence and overcome our blockers.  This more physical practice is called Self Care. In short, self-care is doing things that make you feel good. A little self-care can release any or all of the happiness chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, endorphin and oxytocin.

When we are hitting the (blocker) wall it can be suffocating.  Self-care can give you the energy to open the window of optimism and possibility again.  It’s a breath of fresh air.  In fact, some would say that when Self Sabotage is happening, it is actually a call to ourselves for Self Care.  And once done, we are more likely to say to ourselves “I think I Can,”, I’ll give it a go”, “Yes, let’s do this!”. 

Here are some examples of Self Care:

• Physical exercise

• Get outside

• Accessing your passions

• Do something fun with friends

• Get some good sleep

• Sex…with self or partner

• Screen detox

• Declutter

• Do something nice for someone else

• Play with a pet

• Meditate

• Eat a healthy snack

The opportunities are endless. The key point is that when faced with the suffocating feeling of self-sabotage, that self-care is the healthy reset that revitalises you physically and mentally to give you the Self Confidence to try that new thing, get out of your comfort zone, and see the new possibilities. 

Then with the subsequent action, we can prove to ourselves that “yes we can” and we keep building on those little wins.

So go on…be kind to yourself today, and as often as you need it.  And, if you find you keep coming up against the same blockers time and time again, try our 5 steps process, or reach out for some coaching support.

Yours on purpose,

Ben & Josh (The Purpose & Flow team)