Your midlife happiness: jump the slump, climb the trench or become a statistic
Unfortunately were going to have a dip in our happiness during the midlife stages of our lives. An economist and researcher David Blanchflower did a lot of research in the 1990’s around happiness across the lifespan. No matter what outcome he measured he consistently found that when happiness was pitted against age, a U shaped line always formed. As such he coined it “the happiness curve”. (see image 1 below). The lowest levels of happiness always showed in midlife, specifically between 45 – 49 years of age. What’s more amazing is that in 2020 when he did a similar study across 132 different countries globally, these findings were the same for other parts of the world.
So, what do we know? With the benefit of research, we can definitely say
You are going to go through a midlife slump
It’s likely this slump will be most obvious to you around 45-49 years of age, give or take a few years either side
This slump will show as many faces and may not always be the full blown midlife crisis where the symptoms are blatantly obvious. Download our Midlife Pulse Check to see which stage you are in? (see our previous article on Midlife Transition).
The good news is that the happiness curve suggests that if we just stick it out long enough, even if we are less happy (or miserable) in midlife, things get rosy again and we can live out our days being as happy as we were in our teens and early 20’s. This may be a result of your circumstances, or being prompted into change from a significant life event (health scare, divorce, loss of work etc), or subconsciously you have stated to change your priorities in life…letting go of things you were hanging onto in life, setting yourself free and finding new perspective.
The 3 big questions from the Happiness Curve are
Do we really have to be less happy (or unhappy) to get happier?
What is it about midlife that creates less happiness?
What is the cost to you, your life and others around you by being less happy in midlife?
Ultimately, depending on what stage of midlife transition you are in, you have 3 choices
Jump the Slump
Climb the Trench
Be a midlife statistic
Jump the slump if you're in
Midlife Cruising (Pre-midlife transition)
Midlife Cracks (Early signs of midlife transition)
Climb the trench if you're in
Midlife Crunch (You are in full midlife transition)
Midlife Crisis (You have lost control of the midlife transition)
Midlife Coma (You are immobilised by the challenges)
The goal is to be at this point
Midlife Clarity (You have transformed and are set free)
See out Instagram post here for more detail on the stages.
If you choose to be a midlife statistic here’s your answers to the 3 big questions
Yes, you will become less happy as you approach and transition through midlife. Your eventual happiness will be a product of being “less unhappy” and any happiness you gain will be a product of chance circumstances that lie substantially outside your control. That road to happiness may be longer and bumpier if you choose not to take control.
You may see midlife as a burden. Kids, mortgage, extra responsibilities, too much time at work, lack of gratitude for what you have and always wanting more. Poor self-understanding and inability to access your freedom due to the weight of expectation. Midlife can be tiresome for you.
It’s likely your relationships are suffering, your career fulfilment may be low, your health is poor. Stress, anxiety and even depression might be overwhelming you. You lack clarity on how to improve your life and are potentially reflecting back at a train wreck of regret as you age.
If you choose to “Jump the Slump” or "Climb the Trench" here’s your answers to the 3 big questions
Being happy or unhappy is a choice. Happiness is a state that can breed more happiness and doesn’t just improve due to aging. How we choose to feel depends on how we choose to interpret things in our life as well what actions we put in place to allow it to occur.
While everyone has to come to terms with a midlife transition that typically see us evolve to find fulfilment in different ways. But for those who let go of the past and embrace the present and future will experience less unhappiness…and begin finding new and more happiness as they gain wisdom, knowledge, resources, experience and amazing relationships.
Nothing – should we choose to embrace it, midlife is a time when we begin to gain wisdom, knowledge, resources, experience and amazing relationships.
Potentially enormous but fortunately you have chosen to jump the slump. You are bright, outgoing, others feel your positive energy, you grow and adapt as you get older, your relationships blossom. You have great self-awareness and therefore you are living purposefully. You access your passions and freedom regularly and have absolute control over how you live your life.
In all cases, your ability to climb out of the trench or jump the slump starts by arming yourself with the skills and strategies that allow you to adapt and grow. These include
Acceptance: This is where your life is right now. You now have a choice as to how you feel, how you show up and how you want your story to pan out
Self-awareness: what’s stopping you, what are your strengths and gifts, what do you value, what are your passions
Vision setting and clarity: what do you want? how would this feel?, what do you have to do to get it?
Knowing and living your purpose: this creates sense of inner peace and fulfilment and guides decision making in your life
Using your Purpose Booster Skills: using detachment, reflective writing, mindfulness, physical restoration, rituals and peer interaction as techniques to boost your purposeful life and keep you on track during challenging times.
So, what’s ahead for you? What are you leaving behind?
We can help you develop the skills and armour to jump the slump or climb out of the trench and find joy and true happiness in your midlife years.
For learn more about what we do or to get in touch with us click here
Yours on purpose,
Ben & Josh (The Purpose & Flow team)