Money is not the currency of giving, your generosity is.
You have probably heard of the saying ‘the secret to living is giving’. The joy of giving is not only highlighted in countless movies that showcase the happy generous giver, and the miserly uptight and greedy taker. In fact, the benefits of giving have been widely researched and documented, most notably by Stephen Post PHD and his book The Hidden Gifts of Helping. Post talks about how humans are wired to get into a state of well-being and inner peace when they even ‘think’ about giving let alone do it.
So if giving is good and it lifts up ours and others spirits, why don’t we do it more often, why do we resist sometimes? Is it putting ourselves out there to connect with others too uncomfortable in a world where we hide behind screens?
Or are we focused too much on what we are trying to get for ourselves, or hold on to whatever it is we are wanting to keep - for those in this group the old saying of ‘if you hold on too tightly to something you want then it will slip out of your hands’ is a good reminder. If only they learnt to let go and realise that it’s not about the money, it about so much more. And that what they’re seeking will come to them by doing good. Winston Churchill might agree with his quote ‘We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give’.
The issue is often that we are unsure about how best to give because we don’t truly understand the true currency of giving, which is generosity. It’s your readiness and willingness to give that carries whatever it is you are giving. It provides depth, meaning and authenticity to whatever sentiments and objects you are giving. When we tap into this we are drawing from deep human needs to contribute, help and be valued in society. We are also opening ourselves up to the benefits such as joy, fulfillment and connection. By sharing your generosity you are creating a positive chain of events. The receiver will benefit and more likely pass on the goodwill and generosity to others, and eventually, it will return to you again.
Whether the bible saying of ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’, or the laws of karma, or the more modern expression of ‘pay it forward’, they are all pointing towards doing good first. Doing good first is an important aspect, as true giving is to give without expectation or anything in return. True generosity carries no expectation. It is sent with your blessings to benefit others, without expectation. This is key. If you give generously you will also receive generously.
So what if you are open and motivated by giving and have your generosity at the ready, what is the best way to do it for the greatest impact? To help we can look at giving through these 4 different levels:
Reluctant Giving: This is the lowest form of giving. Think of a scenario where someone is giving something against their will or are obliged to do so. It might be the donation for the leaving present for a staff member, it could be a compulsory donation, it might be giving some money to a fundraiser on the street because you don’t want to look miserly in front of others. In many ways it is more likely to be monetary and transactional, and is typically absent of positive intent and goodwill for the receiver.
Cultural Giving: Think of the commonplace gift giving events in your life…Christmas, birthdays, religious holidays, weddings, anniversaries. It could also be a volunteer day at work. They are more commonplace and giving is expected. When not so good they are routine giving events and the giver may just be going through the motions. When done well the giver is generously injecting a personalised touch and positive sentiment with their gift. It can be more thoughtful if the giver is inclined to do so.
Spontaneous Giving: Think of the occasions that are less routine or planned. They are more from the heart and carry generous goodwill freely, whether a thoughtful gift for a friend or loved one, or helping a stranger in need. A key difference here is the activity of giving non-tangible gifts such as praise & feedback, a simple compliment, lending a helping hand, or a hug for someone you know needs it. The exchange here is not just with material things, but human connection and emotions…far more powerful. For example, that little hand written note showing your appreciation or love means so much more that the flowers, chocolates or whatever accompanies it.
Purposeful Giving: This is similar to spontaneous giving, but the key difference is that your generosity is carrying gifts that tap into your purpose. It is the intentional sharing of your own ‘personal gifts’ (your talents and traits other can rely on you for), along with your passions and values. Think of that talent or trait your have that always benefits others. It might be how you bring calm to a crisis, or a spark to the party, being a good listener. It’s recognising when your gifts will help others and generously sharing them. This is one of the most meaningful and fulfilling ways we can contribute to others.
A mindset of service to others is foundational to purpose. We are all put on this planet to do something. The heart of this sits with sharing your gifts, passions and values with others. So go forth and take a mindset of how you can serve others, share your gifts and enjoy the benefits in that moment and when the generosity is returned at a later time.